A Large Aqua Sweater Makes My Commute

Good morning readers.  You may have noticed that I've been in a fairly negative mood lately.  This is due to a number of factors that I won't discuss here but it's strange how unexpected everyday things have the uncanny ability to cheer someone up (in this case, me).

I'm on the Q this morning and we arrive at the last stop in Brooklyn, DeKalb Ave., when a seat opens directly in front of where I'm standing.  I decide not to take it because A) I sit all day anyway and B) Out of the corner of my eye I notice a large young woman in aqua sweater lumbering towards the seat like a Mack Truck on Interstate 80.  She nudges me aside and crashes down in the empty seat.

At first, I'm pissed.  This fat, ghetto wannabe girl rudely charges into this seat without apology.  Completely shameless, this girl.  Quickly, however, my annoyance turns to mild amusement because it suddenly appears to me that this girl is potentially narcoleptic.  I had turned away for a nano-second and she's dead asleep, mouth open, and her head slumping slowly towards the shoulder of the poor sap sitting next to her.

At first, he's obviously uncomfortable but maintains his ground.  This poor guy is less than half the size of this woman.  The train starts crossing the Manhattan Bridge and she keeps slumping closer and closer to him, clearly broaching his personal space.  He eventually abandons ship and gives up his seat.  Aqua sweater wakes up suddenly and moves to the vacated seat (apparently her seat didn't provide enough space).  Instantly she falls back asleep.

I see a well dressed man, standing in one of the doorways chronically shaking his head at this sight.  A woman standing next to me is chuckling to herself quietly.  I couldn't help but to turn away and start laughing myself.  

But the entertainment isn't over.  The girl, still dead asleep, is now slowly verging in on the personal space of the poor girl next to her who was probably thinking less than 30 seconds ago "thank god that woman isn't sitting next to me".  Her arms are straight in front of  but are nearly crossing each other as she tries to maintain some type of personal space.  By this time, the whole car is aware of what is going on and most people are smiling at the very least or shaking their heads in bewilderment.

The poor girl gives up her seat at Canal St. and no one volunteers to brave the waters of the Aqua Sweater, who, incidentally, is still dead asleep even when the train comes to an abrupt stop.

Her last victim is the woman that is sitting at the very end of the bench but Aqua Sweater is falling over to her side so far that her head is practically in the woman's lap.  I imagine that the woman has her headphones blaring but it is obvious that she is still agitated.

Fortunately for all on in the car, 14th St. arrives and Aqua Sweater awakens, looks around like a gopher poking his head out of his burrow and decides this was her stop.  She gets up groggily and lumbers off the train.

As soon as she's gone people scramble for the two spots vacated.  I'm just laughing and actually forgetting my troubles for the rest of my commute.  Good times.  Good New York times.