Bolt Bus

I would like to inform everyone about the awesomeness of Bolt Bus. It absolutely gets my full endorsement.

There's a lot of things in this world that suck: taxes, paper cuts, airline food, just to name a few. Thankfully we have something like Bolt Bus to feel good about. $32 round-trip from NYC to Boston is about as good of a deal on anything anywhere.

Is this something lame to be excited about? Perhaps. But I'm an accountant. If I don't get excited about something lame, I'd be way too cool.

Lost work

I just wrote a short post about my road trip up to Boston w/ two friends when I all of a sudden I accidentally deleted it!

Dammit. It probably wasn't my best work but hey, it was still work. Long story/short we're on a "boltbus" and approximately two hours from Boston where we will be watching the Red Skirts play tonight.

More updates to come. I've got to do the same thing tomorrow so I'm sure I'll have more to write about.

Willie Randolph: Not That Different from the Rest of Us

Strangely ironic that a friend of mine got let go today...I decided I was writing on Willie while on the 'Q' this morning. My hope is that it's not somehow my fault...

For those of you who don't follow sports closely, the New York Mets (baseball) fired their manager, Willie Randolph this week after four seasons. Randolph chronicled his being let go today in the New York Daily News.

The article isn't terribly interesting (it's in the Daily News, after all) but what is interesting is that it shows that even Major League Baseball managers can get treated like complete and utter crap by their bosses.

Randolph was let go approximately 3 am EST. Now granted, that he was on the West Coast so it was only 12 am where he was and he isn't in an office job where the ax drops somewhere between 9 and 5, but it seems a little sloppy.

And, if you read the article, Randolph was completely shocked that he was getting let go. He states that he confronted the GM, Omar Minaya, before leaving for California and that Minaya told him things were "still being evaluated". Randolph goes on to say that he didn't think it would only be one more game before he got fired.

In sports, "being evaluated" might as well mean, "pack your bags".

Many in NYC and across the country have shared a similar feeling with Willie in the past few months. Corporate America has a tendency to be a little more creative when it comes to letting people go. Read this and this. In sports, they take more of a Donald Trump approach.

I guess this may give me some reassurance that no matter what kind of job you have, don't expect your bosses to be above board with you when the possibility of layoffs are looming (unless of course you're a contestant on the Apprentice).

If they're dodgy and non-committal, that usually means they're lying. The problem is, most bosses have bosses who have bosses in sports and in Corporate America. Everybody is under the gun and when "results" are at stake we're all expected to "step it up". What a bunch of shit. If I'm not performing say, "your work is not good, do better or you're going to get fired". Maybe people don't like to hear that but for me it beats the hell out of "you need to step it up".

Refer to other lame buzzwords and cliches here.

The only thing that we can take away from all this is that few people will actually tell you how you're performing because most people suck at delivering bad news or just suck as people in general.

HELP!

I know you are all patiently waiting for my new blog so that I'll discuss my exciting week in California. I need some help titling my new blog. The general topic will be on life as a corporate hack. No guarantees of title, just looking for suggestions.

Thanks for your participation.

A Horse Walks Into a Bar, the Bartender says...

At several points today I've noticed a number of people (in fact the majority of people) looking really miserable. Personally, I haven't been in the best of moods the last couple of days but I don't think I've been looking as despondent as most of the people out there.

The subway is a classic place for finding the most depressed, despondent, hopeless, tragic, and pessimistic people in the City. That wasn't so surprising.

But then I'm walking to work and I see a couple of people standing outside near the office that look as if they just saw Old Yeller for the first time. Further, I'm suddenly noticing similar looks on people's faces in the elevator, in the cafeteria, all around the office, pretty much everywhere I go.

What the hell is going on? A few possibilities: 1) the weather has been about as comfortable as a 15 year old boy trying to buy condoms 2) the economy is performing like post-steroid scandal baseball players 3) the people that still have their jobs wish they were part of the layoff statistics 4) the hot dog vendors are making everyone bob for their own hot dog.

Are New Yorkers constantly miserable? I guess it's possible. But definitely not these guys though:

This gives the rest of us hope (and these guys aren't even running for President)!

Back in the City

I've returned! Please, no applause. I promised you a debriefing of my week on the West Coast and I assure you that I will deliver. I'm still getting back up to speed on several fronts after returning home but FEAR NOT. There will be many comments regarding my seminar experience. So much so, I may start another blog to focus on corporate life. It's still in discussions.

Anyway, back to life as a straphanger:

I'm on the subway today and enjoying some light reading/Brick Breaker (Blackberry users, you know you're addicts) and all of a sudden I'm at 34th St. I'm completely caught off guard and semi-rush to get my stuff together in order to deboard and mosey off to catch the V.

Point being, after a week at an unfabulous seminar about some very dry material that was predominated by lame people, I may have been a little slow coming back to marvelousness and pace of New York.

Now, if you're worried I'm losing my touch, I was out at lunch today picking up my beloved Samantha and bolted in front of everyone as soon as the light went red for the oncoming traffic and reached the other side of the street before some of those peds even realized they had a walk sign.

Handicapped or not, I flew across that crosswalk.

Good to be back!

Seminar Update Thursday Edition

Ok - so I'm making a confession here. I'm skipping the 8 am - 10 am session of my seminar this morning. The most significant reason being that we were out late last night but I only plan on missing a couple hours out of the entire day. This inevitably begs the question: are there consequences to being absent at these things?

Answer in short: don't know, don't care.

Am I being immature? Unprofessional? Careless? Perhaps. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't probably doesn't result in much being lost. I mean, seriously, I'm missing "Project Management". I'm sure it has some value but it's not going to be a life changing experience.

For those wondering, I'm going write a de-brief posting sometime next week to summarize my time in LA at this seminar. I've been keeping a copious amount of notes about things I want to write about so it should amount to a pretty decent amount of ranting/opining. Stay tuned...

Death by Boredom 2

Does anyone think that boring presenters know that they're boring? Do they hear their own voices and think: "how could anyone not being immensely interested in what I'm saying? I'm so smart and well-spoken, no one can resist my dynamic oratorial skills."

In actuality, people are trying to hang themselves using their shoelaces and fighting off sexual daydreaming.

Or maybe that's just me. Some of these people look interested...more details to come

On a positive note...

It has been insanely hot and humid in New York the past few days and LA has very pleasant. I guess this boredom has a bit of an upside.

Death by Boredom

So I'm sitting in a large ballroom listening to some old guy talk about International Accounting standards... I know, everyone is insanely jealous.

Wow, this is boring. So boring that I think I might die. Seriously, the boredom is so severe, death may result. I'm at the back of the room, so I suppose I could sneak out but I haven't at this point.

So, I decided I would write about how boring this is in order to keep on living. Apparently I can only write so much on my Blackberry. More later...

They call Los Angeles the City of Angels...

Hey everyone - I'm in LA this week for a seminar and might not be posting as often as I would like, but I am going to have plenty to write about afterwards. So, I'll post when I can and I'll try to get you all caught up eventually.

I also didn't post on Friday, sorry about that. You might have to re-calibrate your expectations about the frequency of my posting. I'll do my best...Have a great Monday

Is it just me or...

...once the subway is in motion, you probably shouldn't try to maneuver from one end of the train to the other when it's standing room only (i.e. a full train).

This morning I watched a woman get on a the front of the car and after the doors closed, proceeded to walk through all of the people standing on the train in order to reach the very end of the car. I'm standing in my usual spot (with someone behind me no less) and she's trying to squeeze by the two of us while the train is clearly HAULING ASS.

She somehow gets by me and continues on and I watch this lack of courtesy the entire length of the car until she reaches the end. She callously interrupted numerous newspaper skimmings, iPod playlists, (insert your holy book here) reading, catnaps, wandering eyes, and general daydreaming without prejudice.

Once false move by that train and this lady is going flying into someone's Daily News.

I understand that you want to get to a specific spot on the train lady, but can't you wait to make your strategic moves until the train slows down a tad or sneak by while it's in the station? Or perhaps while we stop between two platforms? It's bound to happen! Just a suggestion...

There really should be an etiquette police for the subway. There would be a heirarchy of crimes just like in society but punishment would take the form in reprimands related to the subway. Examples could be: 1) Giving up all rights to empty seats, regardless of the number of people on the train 2) If seating privleges are not revoked, offenders would be required to sit next to obsese people 3) Mandatory sitting adjacent to a offensive (e.g. drunk, smelly) homeless person 4) Mandatory heavy tipping of any enterTRAINment (i.e. mariachi bands, accapela groups, teenage dancers

These are just a few simple suggestions that those at MTA should seriously consider. I think all straphangers would agree with these simple yet practical solutions. Please feel free to share your ideas for how to properly punish subway etiquette offenders.

Much Funnier than the R. Kelly Trial

So you may or may not have heard about the story about a couple of men in a spinning (i.e. indoor cycling) that got into a little fracas. Frankly, I am encouraged that the jury had the sense to find the defendant not guilty. Anyone that has worked out within earshot of a grunter knows how obnoxious it is. This guy went above and beyond just grunting as you can read in the articles below.

The grunter (aka Stuart Sugarman) was given fair warning but insisted on making his outbursts. Our hero (aka Christopher Carter) took it upon himself to make the class safe and idiot-free for his fellow spinners.

This the funniest story I've read about in awhile but it also reinforces the fact that we should not have to tolerate such nuisances in society.


Wrap up of the trial:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/03/nyregion/03spin.html?ref=fitnessandnutrition


Original article on Dealbreaker. You can find all of their coverage on their website:

http://dealbreaker.com/2007/08/spinning_out_of_control.php

I'll be posting a survey later today to pose a question to related to this story. Also, are there other annoying people (e.g. tone-deaf people who sing in public, slow drivers in the left-hand land, etc.) that deserve a similar fate? Please share your views.

Day Off

Hey everybody, I'm suffering from a major food coma and I'm going to defer to some of the better/more interesting articles that I've read on the web the last few days:

A good example of the crapiness of the federal drug laws:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/05/27/AR2008052702531.html?nav=rss_email/components

A trashy article on Bill Clinton that doesn't name any of the sources:

http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2008/07/clinton200807

The craziness on London's Tube on Sunday evening which was the last legal day to drink alcohol on the Underground:

http://dealbreaker.com/2008/06/facebook_tube_party_that_ended.php

If I muster up something more, you'll know. Happy reading!

Is There an End in Sight?

Am I talking about the Iraq War? The Democratic Nominee process? My splitting headache? No, no, and no.

I'm talking about the ever-present crapiness of flying anywhere within the United States. Since I started flying regularly (around 5 years ago) the process has gone from moderately annoying to a complete abomination.

How bad is it, you ask? Well, you typically have to arrive 2 hours before your flight departs. Then you get seated and if you're lucky enough that no one is in your seat, you still have to deal with no leg-room, a potential obese person and/or crying baby in your row/general area, crappy snacks, smelly bathrooms, recycled oxygen, and (insert your personal unfavorite thing about flying here).

Did I mention that the price of the ticket was a tad costly?

And with any problem, we need to find someone to blame. Terrorists? Easy enough to hate, but no. The price of oil? Again, easy to point the finger at, but no. I for one put the blame solely on the shoulders of the idiots running these companies.

Let's dispel the first two favorite scapegoats:

- Terrorists - Airplanes are a target and we've all accepted the concessions involved in order to keep everyone safe. The American traveler has become accustomed to this.

- Oil - This is a little more complex. Oil is refined into jet fuel. Jet fuel is used to...well, duh. SO the increasing price of oil is taking its toll on the airline industry, just like the American consumer. Simple enough, right? Wrong. Airline companies should be hedging their exposure to the price of the commodities they consume. There's no reason that they couldn't be locking themselves into cheaper fuel prices for 1, 2, 3, however many months into the future in order to control their costs. Any smart company that consumes a commodity (e.g. oil, copper, corn, etc.) that wants to control expenses will lock a price in for future periods to better predict costs regardless of the current price and where it goes into the future. If the price changes dramatically one way or another, the company should adjust accordingly. Good companies hire people to do this FULLTIME.

What does lead us to conclude? The guys running most of these companies are clueless. I don't really have much more to say than that other than flying shouldn't be a loathsome experience but it is. From the moment I purchase the ticket to the second I walk off the jetway, rarely do I feel good about my experience.

I will be flying on Sunday (JFK to LAX no less) and will hopefully have some, either shockingly good news, or typical bad news to share.

I'll share a joke today:

Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One muffin says, "man, is it hot in here?"

The second muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"