Step in My Office...

Let me just first say that this posting has been a long-time coming. I've had lots of time to think about it so hopefully the wait has been worth it.

For me, getting laid off has been weird. Not weird in the sense of someone trying to open the obviously locked bathroom stall door while you're in the middle of an evacuation but weird in the sense of how happy I am as a result of this "reduction in force".

Which, for the record, is the stupidest buzz phrase for a massive nation-wide LAYOFF. You're not taking troops out of Iraq, KPMG, so let's just be honest...Just sayin.

Sorry about the disgression...Yes, I'm happy that I got laid off. Thrilled, in fact. Relieved too. Thinking about how hard I'm NOT going to be working during the months of January through April is a huge weight off my mind. I have many friends that are remaining in the trenches and I've got to say that it may not be the best year to still be there. The unfortunate reality of the sitch is that the amount of work has not changed and has probably increased. Meanwhile, the amount of the people working has most certainly decreased.

Now, you don't have to be a MIT graduate to figure out this equation: MORE WORK + LESS PEOPLE = MORE WORK PER PERSON. Oh and when MORE WORK PER PERSON goes up, your personal life GOES DOWN. BIG TIME. Does this clear up my serentity for you?

Regardless of my logic, there will be friends and colleagues that will think that I am still nuts and that's fine. I can't expect everyone to appreciate my perspective and that's not necessarily what this blog is about.

All I can say is, don't worry for me. DON'T. I'm asking this of you because not only am I happy, I'm feeling completely liberated. It's hard to explain. Perhaps it's the type of feeling that you have when you're so dissatisfied with a situation and then suddenly it is fixed far beyond your expectaions.

Not only that, I can't help but think that being a part of this large financial meltdown doesn't do something interesting for my life story...Granted, there are many people like me but they're not necessarily writing about it but certainly hope they are all enjoying themselves as much as I am.

Post-Election Debrief

Gosh - just like that it's all over.  I can honestly say that I'm glad, although I'm not sure what I'm going to read about on the Internet now.  There are lots of interesting things that came out of this election cycle:

1.  The "blue" state of New York is more partisan than the following "red" states: Nebraska, Kansas, Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, and several others.  New York went blue with 62% going for BO while the red states all went for JM with less than 60%.  Is that meaningful?  Maybe not, like I said, just interesting.  

2. Massachusetts voters approved to decriminalize marijuana which, in my opinion, is a vote for common sense.

3.  Arkansas voters approved to not allow unmarried adoption.  Language from MSN regarding Amendment 1: "Provides that a minor in Arkansas may not be adopted or placed in a foster home if the individual seeking to adopt or to serve as a foster parent is cohabiting with a sexual partner outside of a marriage which is valid under the constitution and laws of this state."  This, seems to be the complete opposite of common sense.

4. Minnesota is having a recount between Norm Coleman (R) and Al Franken (D).  Yes, that, Al Franken of SNL.  I read one of Franken's books a while back and he is pretty funny but I hardly would want him serving in Congress.  But it's the state of Lake Wobegon so whatevs.  

 

I spent the election in the East Village which was mucho fun.  I promise to post a few photos to give everyone an idea of what Election Night was like.  Anyway, I guess I'm going to work on finding something else to do with my time...

At Long Last...

Good morning, my fellow Americans.

I thought I would drop a quick note to remind everyone that if you are registered to vote, please do so.  Here's also a quick recap from NY Mag in case you need a reminder of how long and frequently hilarious this campaign was.  

Some examples: Fred Thompson asked supporters for applause, Joe Biden calling out Rudy Guliani for 9/11 usage, Dave Letterman complaining about a flakey John McCain, Sarah Palin's daughter's baby-daddy drama.  Isn't it a shame that it all ends today?

On an interesting side-note, I voted around 6:30 am today after waiting in line for approximately 30 minutes.  For the first time, I actually pulled a lever in order to cast my vote.  Apparently this isn't new for New Yorkers but I had never literally pulled the lever for anyone.  I figured those things had gone the way of the dodo bird moons ago.

Happy Election Day!

Have a Nice Trip?

So I am walking up the escalator today and my foot catches on one of the moving steps and my face starts plunging downwards.  My pulse quickens and I grab the rail to catch myself but at the same time my messenger bag swings off my back to my side and I attempt to swing it back behind me.

This obviously makes a huge scene on the escalator and there are several people right next to me that are shirking away in fear of getting knocked over by this tall blonde klutz (but so well dressed!).

I recover somehow without injury and continue up the steps as if nothing happened.  What else could I do?  I had to march on.  As I neared the top of the escalator, I started chuckling to myself.  Again, what else could I do?  That had to have looked hilarious to anyone nearby so I couldn't help at laugh at my lack of grace.

Living in New York guarantees many things, one of which is lots of walking.  This copious amount of walking inevitably leads to trips and sometimes falls.  This happens to every New Yorker and I for one have embraced my own clumsiness.

I've definitely found myself laughing more and more whenever I trip and my arms and legs go flailing and my face is filled with terror that I'm going to end up face down in the muck.

I think this basically demonstrates a couple of things: (1) At times I can easily laugh at myself; (2) looking like a fool is something to be embraced and can be healthy for you.  

So get out there people!  Fall all over yourself and loosen up some.  Don't take yourself so seriously.  See, doesn't that feel better?

The Simpsons + Mad Men = Pure Awesomeness

http://videogum.com/archives/parodies/breaking-video-the-simpsons-s_031281.html

Conviction by Embarassment

Wow - it's been a couple of week since I posted so getting back into it can be tough sometimes.  Now that the dust has somewhat settled after the nuclear winter known as the U.S. Economy, the public hangings can commence.  Most of these will be courtesy of Bill O'Reilly (via DealBreaker).  

Stan O'Neal, former CEO of Merrill Lynch (my 401k custodian), is up first.

A Large Aqua Sweater Makes My Commute

Good morning readers.  You may have noticed that I've been in a fairly negative mood lately.  This is due to a number of factors that I won't discuss here but it's strange how unexpected everyday things have the uncanny ability to cheer someone up (in this case, me).

I'm on the Q this morning and we arrive at the last stop in Brooklyn, DeKalb Ave., when a seat opens directly in front of where I'm standing.  I decide not to take it because A) I sit all day anyway and B) Out of the corner of my eye I notice a large young woman in aqua sweater lumbering towards the seat like a Mack Truck on Interstate 80.  She nudges me aside and crashes down in the empty seat.

At first, I'm pissed.  This fat, ghetto wannabe girl rudely charges into this seat without apology.  Completely shameless, this girl.  Quickly, however, my annoyance turns to mild amusement because it suddenly appears to me that this girl is potentially narcoleptic.  I had turned away for a nano-second and she's dead asleep, mouth open, and her head slumping slowly towards the shoulder of the poor sap sitting next to her.

At first, he's obviously uncomfortable but maintains his ground.  This poor guy is less than half the size of this woman.  The train starts crossing the Manhattan Bridge and she keeps slumping closer and closer to him, clearly broaching his personal space.  He eventually abandons ship and gives up his seat.  Aqua sweater wakes up suddenly and moves to the vacated seat (apparently her seat didn't provide enough space).  Instantly she falls back asleep.

I see a well dressed man, standing in one of the doorways chronically shaking his head at this sight.  A woman standing next to me is chuckling to herself quietly.  I couldn't help but to turn away and start laughing myself.  

But the entertainment isn't over.  The girl, still dead asleep, is now slowly verging in on the personal space of the poor girl next to her who was probably thinking less than 30 seconds ago "thank god that woman isn't sitting next to me".  Her arms are straight in front of  but are nearly crossing each other as she tries to maintain some type of personal space.  By this time, the whole car is aware of what is going on and most people are smiling at the very least or shaking their heads in bewilderment.

The poor girl gives up her seat at Canal St. and no one volunteers to brave the waters of the Aqua Sweater, who, incidentally, is still dead asleep even when the train comes to an abrupt stop.

Her last victim is the woman that is sitting at the very end of the bench but Aqua Sweater is falling over to her side so far that her head is practically in the woman's lap.  I imagine that the woman has her headphones blaring but it is obvious that she is still agitated.

Fortunately for all on in the car, 14th St. arrives and Aqua Sweater awakens, looks around like a gopher poking his head out of his burrow and decides this was her stop.  She gets up groggily and lumbers off the train.

As soon as she's gone people scramble for the two spots vacated.  I'm just laughing and actually forgetting my troubles for the rest of my commute.  Good times.  Good New York times.