Is it just me or...

...once the subway is in motion, you probably shouldn't try to maneuver from one end of the train to the other when it's standing room only (i.e. a full train).

This morning I watched a woman get on a the front of the car and after the doors closed, proceeded to walk through all of the people standing on the train in order to reach the very end of the car. I'm standing in my usual spot (with someone behind me no less) and she's trying to squeeze by the two of us while the train is clearly HAULING ASS.

She somehow gets by me and continues on and I watch this lack of courtesy the entire length of the car until she reaches the end. She callously interrupted numerous newspaper skimmings, iPod playlists, (insert your holy book here) reading, catnaps, wandering eyes, and general daydreaming without prejudice.

Once false move by that train and this lady is going flying into someone's Daily News.

I understand that you want to get to a specific spot on the train lady, but can't you wait to make your strategic moves until the train slows down a tad or sneak by while it's in the station? Or perhaps while we stop between two platforms? It's bound to happen! Just a suggestion...

There really should be an etiquette police for the subway. There would be a heirarchy of crimes just like in society but punishment would take the form in reprimands related to the subway. Examples could be: 1) Giving up all rights to empty seats, regardless of the number of people on the train 2) If seating privleges are not revoked, offenders would be required to sit next to obsese people 3) Mandatory sitting adjacent to a offensive (e.g. drunk, smelly) homeless person 4) Mandatory heavy tipping of any enterTRAINment (i.e. mariachi bands, accapela groups, teenage dancers

These are just a few simple suggestions that those at MTA should seriously consider. I think all straphangers would agree with these simple yet practical solutions. Please feel free to share your ideas for how to properly punish subway etiquette offenders.

Strangers and the Weather

It's raining in New York today and it makes me think about the weather and how crucial it is to our functioning society. Not in the sense that it affects commuting, agriculture, or industry but in that it binds every single person in the world and that any two people can find commonality in the sun, rain, snow, sleet, hurricane, wind, whatever.

It would be a complete breakdown in society if two people, finding themselves in an awkward silence, were to not make mention of how (enter current weather) it has been. Of course many people can handle the silence with no problem (myself included) but as luck would have it, two of those people have never crossed paths. One party will invariably make comment of how (enter current weather here) it is.

Of course the weather isn't the only subject to come up between two strangers but as previously mentioned, it is, seemingly, the easiest thing for two humans to discuss.

The discussion obviously varies from place to place and is all relative to the actual location. For instance I imagine that residents of Anchorage are quite ecstatic when the temperature achieves heights north of 60 degrees (Fahrenheit obviously). Likewise, if the temperature goes south of 60 in San Diego, people start FREAKING OUT.

Will I ever mellow on the weather small talk? Possibly. But for the time being, I'll still simply just observe the weather and wait for my Starbucks in silence.

I'll offer you another joke today as this particular posting might be WEAK.

Why are there so many Jones's in the phone book?

Because they all have phones.